In the comments section of my post on job-market bitterness, an anonymous UK grad student voiced some skepticism about the common claim–which I have heard from too many people to keep track of–that one should only risk pursuing a philosophy PhD if "you sincerely could not imagine doing anything else other than philosophy." The student wrote,
I'm a bit suspicious of the 'don't do it unless you can't imagine doing anything else' line. I think people say it for various reasons: some because they've had a genuinely terrible time, or seen others have a genuinely terrible time…; some because they have some mixed-up notion that only those who are positively ascetic in their love of philosophy should have the right to do philosophy; some because they've never experienced a job outside academia and don't realise that, actually, academic jobs are pretty cushy compared to most jobs in the real world…
I replied that I really don't think people say the "don't do it unless…" line because they have some some mixed-up ascetic notion of philosophy, or because they don't realize how cushy their academic jobs are. My sense (though of course I could be wrong) is that people say the "don't do it unless…", line almost entirely for something like the following reasons (see earlier in my comment for more details):
When people say academic philosophy is a "hard road", they are not being melodramatic. And, I think, when say "don't do it unless you can't imagine anything else", they mean it because they don't want to see happen to you what happened to them or (worse still) what happened to other people they knew for whom things turned out far worse.
Although I didn't end up convincing the UK grad student any more than my undergrad advisor Dan Dennett convinced me over a half of a lifetime ago (I suspect history is indeed doomed to repeat itself!), after our discussion ended a few other people weighed in.
My philosophy career so far has been *way more* lucky than pretty much everyone else's I know (got a TT job while haven't even defended, after a couple of months on the market), but no — don't do it unless you absolutely love it. It will change you, and you might not know how. And it will be hard, very hard at times. You will doubt yourself, your own thoughts, your abilities, your friends, your advisors….
I've always considered myself a person who is not likely to be very affected by difficulties with her job, who can keep everything on the rational level. I was very wrong, and basically everyone I know in the profession has gone through these phases while in grad school and on the market. Whether you are planning to stay in academia or not, the whole process will involve enormous sacrifices for you, your family, and your friends and it's simply not worth it unless you really, really like what you are doing. And even then, there will be times when you will just hate it.
Pendaran Roberts then added:
Uk grad student: I think Marcus is right about this
"What seems rational or sensible from one perspective (in one's youth) can seem irrational or insensible from another (one's older age)."
One of the reasons for this is probably that when you're in your 20s you have different desires than you do when you're in your 30s. When I first went to grad school I wasn't married, I didn't care about owning a house, living somewhere nice, having income security, and so on. I was basically a kid really.
However, now that I'm 33 I care about all these things. I'm married. I have to juggle my life and my wife's life. I feel I have a lot of responsibilities I did not feel I had when I was 25. I see friends with jobs making good incomes, buying homes, and so on, while I make little and rely on other people. It's a horrible feeling, especially when you've worked so hard for so little.
Over the years in grad school, and especially after with the job market, I struggled with depression, anxiety, and all sorts of horrible emotions. They were due to many things but are all fundamentally due to the frustrations of being a young academic in this job market and overall environment.
Finally, a 'recent grad' wrote:
I think what allowed me to succeed without a love for philosophy are two things: general stoicism and a love for the lifestyle. Re: the latter, I know Marcus is against going into academia because you like the lifestyle. And I would probably advise against it as well. But I was ignorant when I got in and I didn't realize that I didn't love it. By the time I was ABD, I knew I didn't love it, but I figured I'd give it my best shot because I hate to work and I love to travel. As for the stoicism, I knew intellectually that the job market was awful, but it didn't affect me the way it affects others. I just kept working. There was a couple month period when I fell into mild anxiety/depression, but I generally just said "screw it, I'll do something else if it doesn't work out". I would have left after two years post-PhD, so I think that helped. Also, I have no kids and no debt, which no doubt also helped.
Anyway, here's the thing. After reading these stories, I was thinking it might be a good idea if readers share their stories. Here is why: I'm inclined to think that those of us who have pursued a philosophy PhD should do what we can to help prospective grad students considering really know what they are likely getting into. A few stories here or there (like mine, or Pendaran's, etc.) only provide a small glimpse of what pursuing a philosophy PhD is like. But a lot of stories? That might provide prospective students with a much clearer and more complete idea of the actual risks, costs, and benefits of the choice. While telling our stories may or may not disabuse prospective grad students of pursuing their dreams–and I don't want to do that (what would this world be without some fools like us pursuing their dreams!)–I do think it is very important for anyone going into this to know, as far as they can, what they are actually getting themselves into.
Anyway, are you with me? If so, please consider telling your story in the comments section below, however you see fit (publicly, anonymously, etc.), with the following questions in mind:
- What was your overall experience like pursuing a philosophy PhD/academic career?
- What aspects of your experience do you think are particularly salient for a prospective PhD student to know?
- Did seeking a philosophy PhD change you as a person (i.e. your psychological well-being, priorities, etc.) in ways you never would have expected beforehand?
- Finally, would you endorse some version or variation of the dictum "don't do it unless you can't imagine doing anything else"? (another variation: "Definitely don't do it unless you truly love philosophy")
All I ask is that, however you answer these questions, just tell the unvarnished truth–whatever it may be (the good, the bad, and the ugly. Let's help prospective students better understand their choice together! [Also, quick note: this thread only concerns seeking a PhD in philosophy, not an MA. In my experience, the risks and costs of the two are very different]
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