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Grappling with an abuser in the profession?

In our most recent "how can we help you?" thread, a reader asks:

Does anyone have any advice re: interacting with someone in the profession who's treated you very badly? E.g., sexual harassment, verbal abuse, etc.

Particularly in the context of, this person is going to keep being in the profession, adjacent to your area, will keep being invited to contribute to things/speak at conferences, and so forth. The question is not so much how to interact with that person specifically (avoidance whenever possible seems ideal), but how to emotionally/mentally handle the positive comments of others and generally having to continue to share professional space with them (unlike in a non-academic field where you could presumably change jobs or companies).

I'm so sorry to hear that the OP has been treated these ways and faces this situation. It seems like the OP doesn't see themselves as well-placed or able to intervene to address this person's behavior, though it's distressing to hear that the latter has evidently simply been able to continue on without apparent consequence.

Do any readers have any helpful advice to share?

Posted in ,

3 responses to “Grappling with an abuser in the profession?”

  1. Thanks

    I don’t have direct experience of this problem, but I do have the experience of a close friend having an ultra-toxic (and clandestine) relationship with an emotionally abusive and very prominent person in the profession.
    First, I found that it was important to make decisions and inferences about (1) where I couldn’t avoid encountering the person, discussions of the person etc., and (2) where such situations existed, how much of my career, intellectual experiences etc. was I willing to sacrifice for avoidance? Obviously, the answer to the latter question is somewhere between 0% and 100%, so it was important to be precise.
    Second, given that there were times when I could avoid the person, situation, and discussion of the person (who has a good reputation in the profession) I needed ways of minimizing the emotional effects. There is a lot of useful advice out there in different psychotherapeutic modalities and it’s not just useful for people struggling with severe depression/anxiety/etc. Personally, I found that using these techniques for this specific problem and closely related issues has given me a lot of useful tools for dealing with other emotional challenges in being an academic. I had been depressed and socially anxious for so long that I’d conflated these things with my personality.
    Third, following from that, even if someone is inclined towards discounting their own comfort (as I am) our mind is our #1 piece of professional equipment, so it’s advantageous to look after it as best we can. So my number one advice is to make many and persistent efforts to supporting yourself through this experience through any and all means, including collective e.g. mutual support groups.
    Finally, while I recognise the progress that’s been made in the profession thanks to the efforts of organizations like SWIP and the Women in Philosophy Task Force, as well as some real heroes, the OP’s question is a reminder for me of just how far we have to go in making academic philosophy a safer profession. In my personal experience, there is a lot that individuals can do for themselves and for others, but we also need to recognise the wider structural problems e.g. job insecurity making people reluctant to speak out, especially against abusive people in senior positions. And a big thank you to PhilosophersCocoon for providing a space where we can talk about these issues anonymously.

    Reply
  2. rutabagas

    I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. The APA has an ombudsperson concerning discrimination and sexual harassment: https://www.apaonline.org/page/ombuds
    Depending on your situation, it could be worth reaching out to them.

    Reply
  3. Moral Injury

    I am really sorry OP. I am in a situation similar to Thanks, and have been in a somewhat similar position to OP. For me, for a while, it was almost physically intolerable to hear colleagues talk highly of these people. I still find it difficult, but not so intolerable. I decided that I would be a consummate professional about and with these people. When people speak well of their work, I will be as non-committal as I possibly can, and either move the conversation along, or simply not contribute – as far as I know, no one’s ever noticed me do this, and as long as you just make vague, minimally-neutral noises, that is usually sufficient.
    What has made a huge difference to me, is a) having a circle of people who know what happened, and who I can vent to, and b) knowing my own limits and not pushing myself beyond them. While I love philosophy, there are some things that I will not do or say in pursuit of it. And in these instances, I do not try to force myself, no matter how advantageous the opportunity might otherwise be.
    Some practical tips include things like having a conference or a workshop buddy who knows what happened, and who can help make sure you never end up alone with the person (and who can debrief with you after). As well as trying to network as much as you can outside of their circles. I also got a lot of value out going to therapy. Setting boundaries on what I will and won’t do in advance is really helpful for me, as well as deciding on some canned responses when colleagues compliment these people so that I’m not taken so by surprise (e.g. ‘yes, x’s work is really impressive, but have you read anything from y?’).

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