A reader writes in by email:
How do people know if the burnout is only a phase?
This is about being burned out at the end of the PhD. I’m entering my fifth year, which is technically the last year I can stay in the program, and everything is hinging on me finishing my thesis (which is a manuscript instead of a collection of chapters). I’m feeling less and less passionate about philosophy and what I do specifically for many reasons. The work I’m doing in my thesis is extremely difficult, making me feel like I don’t know anything and I don’t know how to write, progressing at a snail pace. I also feel an immense fatigue and jadedness by the fact that my work is dragging because I have to work so much on the side to earn a living at the same time (I was not lucky enough to ever win a SSHRC grant for instance). Some issues in my dating life also prevent me from focusing 100% on my thesis. I also feel like I’m reading less and less and I’m not as willing to talk about philosophy with others as before. My advisor and my department are absent figures. As a result of that, I tend to disregard the massive achievements I reached in my career so far (e.g.: getting two publications, a few forthcoming too, establishing good connections with other scholars, traveling for work, etc.) and I’m not willing as much anymore to put my career before my personal life – which used to be the opposite ever since I studied philosophy in undergrad. I used to be a machine and now I’m not anymore.
My feeling of being burned out really accentuated itself in June. I’m just wondering if some people have experienced something similar and, if so, what made them able to be confident that it was just a phase in life and not some creeping revelation about a turning point in their life. In other words, would I ever be able to confidently tell when it’s time for me to stop and to look for something else in life? Looking back, philosophy has always been my whole life and I never questioned my ambitions ever before. I don’t know if this is a serious change in me or just a difficult period that will pass.
I’m so sorry the OP is going through this, and I empathize deeply. When I started this blog in 2012, I wrote a few posts about some similar struggles that I went though. I barely made it through, and over the years I’ve also known a lot of other grad students–both in philosophy and in other fields–who had similar struggles. The ABD stage of grad school is simply really tough.
I don’t know of any good way to know whether burnout is just a phase. Truth be told, I’ve had several bouts of burnout over my career (one pretty recently in fact). Each time I’ve sincerely wondered whether it was permanent–and, like the OP, whether I should stop and look for something else in life. I’ve always eventually found my way through–but it was admittedly very hard to see any light at the end of the tunnel at the time. I basically just had to be patient with and kind to myself (at least, as kind as I could manage). And yes, I did look at/seriously consider alternatives to a career in philosophy.
I’m not sure that I have great tips for the OP, but if they are looking to rekindle their love of philosophy, then they might consider trying to work on other things alongside the dissertation. In my experience, dissertations can simply be soul crushing–this massive thing that you have to do–that can sap all enjoyment out of philosophy. Are there any philosophical ideas that the OP has that excite them that they could spend maybe an hour a day writing about besides the dissertation? Obviously, everyone is different, but this approach worked wonders for me when I lost my love of philosophy.
Do other readers have any helpful tips or experiences to share?
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